While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.
“I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”
His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”
I’M NOT THAT OLD…
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can’t look that old. Well, you’ll love this one….
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.
‘Yes. Yes, I did.’ he gleamed with pride.
‘When did you graduate?’ I asked.
He answered, ‘In 1967. Why do you ask?’
‘You were in my class!’ I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, ‘What did you teach?’
One day a blonde office worker comes out to the warehouse to walk around. As she is walking she looks up and sees a co-worker hanging upside down from an I-Beam in the ceiling.
She asks “What ARE you doing”?
The co-worker says “I need a few days off but the boss won’t let me have them so I’m hanging upside down from this I-Beam acting crazy.
The boss will see me, think I need rest and send me home for a few days”.
The blonde says “That won’t work…uh ohh…here comes the boss now, you’re in for it”.
The boss spots the blode looking up and sees the man hanging up there and asks him “Just WHAT do you think you are DOING?!!”
The man says (in a “crazy” voice) I’m a light bulb…I’m a light bulb”
The boss says “Buddy, you need some rest..take the rest of today and tomorrow off and get some sleep”.
As he is climbing down he winks at the blonde showing her it worked.
The blonde thinks about this for a moment and starts to follow the man out the door.
The boss asks her “WHERE do you think YOU’RE going?”
The blonde says “I can’t work in the dark”.
Thanks Squeaky Dude!!!