Caption Contest #3…Christmas Theme!!
It is time, again, to let those creative juices flow. As I celebrated my 22nd wedding anniversary yesterday, my poor husband was suffering from something that resembled the dreaded flu. Poor, poor hubby 
So, understandably so, on this Christmas Eve Eve we are desperate for a humorous pick me up. The pressure’s on you sweet people! Please make a funny!!!
Good luck and Happy Merry Bloggin’ Ya’ll!!!
HUMOROUS HUMP DAY!!
You guys are doing awesome on the Caption Contest. We’ll keep that open a couple more days, but I love the posts so far! Thanks for playing! 
But in the meantime, to stir some more of those creative juices, I have to show you some of the funniest pins I’ve seen yet. Enjoy and have a Humorous Hump Day!!
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- The next time I’m told to put on my thinking cap, I’m gonna go buy a kitten!
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- Too cute!!
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- LOL, it’s like the baby version of the Godfather…
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- Something so wrong about this, but omg funny!
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- Look at dat face! Omg, I love baby pins…
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- All my Canadian friends…don’t get upset. :)
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- This one is so cute! Pretty sure that’s my dog on the right!
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- Seriously, why do I crave it on Sundays??
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- No faster way of getting your pet to move…
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- Omg, this and slow people in the left lane…GET OUT!
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- AMEN! Haha
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- Please don’t be weak, I have to blog!!
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- Way to save me you big, protective guard dog!!
HAPPY BLOGGIN’ YA’LL!!
Let’s talk about…DUCK DYNASTY!
Ok, so normally I am the first to defend the victims of stereotypical comments concerning those of us who live in the Southern States…but these people take “redneck” to a whole new level. And I actually mean that in a good way. I had heard of the show “Duck Dynasty” and veered away from it thinking it was the same old same old…southern people being portrayed as less intelligent, less wealthy, and filthier than our neighbors to the north, and Lord knows we don’t need anymore of that….but wow, this show has changed my way of thinking.
The family involved in Duck Dynasty may be hairier (their motto seems to be the longer the beard, the manlier the man), and definitely a tad bit crazier than most, but they are also intelligent, witty, and downright funny! The Uncle steals the show for me, but they’re all in their own right, very entertaining.
From what I’ve heard and read on the always correct internet is that the Dad invented a duck call that hunters use when…well, hunting duck! He started his business back in 1972 (excellent year if I do say so myself) and made these duck calls, by hand, carved from wood, for years. Mom and Dad were raising 4 sons when the oldest went to a Louisiana college, where he was the quarterback if the story is correct, and obtained his business degree. Between Dad and business savvy oldest son, they built the empire now known as Duck Command. This is said to be worth millions and millions of dollars, but the family along with a few hired hands, now make the duck calls in a warehouse near the family. Yes, they’re all still made by hand.
The funniest parts are when the group head out for an adventure or field trip and stir up some redneck fun. The most entertaining “Uncle Si” can be seen in the middle of all ordeals and will relate any situation to his days in Vietnam. And the best shows have explosions, redneck water parks, and visiting alligators…all this while one of the sons keeps violating his homeowner’s agreement with burning leaves, chasing chickens, and gutting deer. Ewww.
Here is a description of the show from IMBD:
Series introduces the Robertsons, a Louisiana bayou family living the American dream as they operate a thriving business while staying true to their family values and lifestyle. Ask anyone in Louisiana and they’ll tell you that the bayou state’s favorite first family doesn’t live in the governor’s mansion but in the backwoods, where the Robertsons’ rags-to-riches story is still unfolding. A homegrown mom-and-pop operation, Duck Commander has become a sporting empire by fabricating top-of-the-line duck calls and decoys out of salvaged swamp wood. This newly minted multimillionaire family is kept in line by business-savvy Willie, who runs Duck Commander with the help of his brother Jase, their respective wives Korie and Missy, patriarch and founder of the company, Phil, and uncle Si. Together they run a booming business that employs half their neighborhood, but at the end of the day, you can find the whole family around matriarch Miss Kay’s dinner table.
Photo Credit: TVrage.com
If you haven’t seen this show (or do not get it in your part of the world) you can watch the episodes through YouTube. If you have seen it, let me know what you think!
Happy Bloggin’ Ya’ll!!
YOUR fix!!
Ok…deep breath….calm the shaking…stop the head twitching…and quit scratching at the bugs crawling under your skin….here’s your fix! Lol, enjoy
Reporter Bloopers and Sailor Language!! Happy Friday
A blog is a personal journal published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete entries (“posts”) typically displayed in reverse chronological order so the most recent post appears first. Blogs are usually the work of a single individual, occasionally of a small group, and often are themed on a single subject. Blog can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.
Although not a must, most good quality blogs are interactive, allowing visitors to leave comments and even message each other via GUI widgets on the blogs and it is this interactivity that distinguishes them from other static websites. In that sense, blogging can be seen as a form of social networking. Indeed, bloggers do not only produce content to post on their blogs but also build social relations with their readers and other bloggers. Yay me.
When I started this blog, I thought I might make a few new friends while doing something I absolutely love, writing. Tomorrow will be five months on Expert of None and I’ve realized that blogging is about so much more than that and I look forward to reaching many more milestones with this wonderfully dedicated group of people.
Here’s how I would like to say thank you for following me:
(Please note: SAILOR LANGUAGE WARNING……..there is really bad language in this video, so if that offends you please don’t click on the link)
(Also note: for those who are not offended and therefore, do watch this video…wait till you see the reporter that is at about the 1:15 mark. Out in the country is what I call him….and OMG funny!!! I would be the same way though…I’m a city kinda girl!)
ENJOY!
Happy Bloggin’ ya’ll!
(Posted on youtube by Thesqueak69)
Rocketman…Thursday evening bonus blog!
I have the best, most brilliant virtual friends/followers/fellow bloggers around, so I decided to reward your unfailing dedication with a bonus blog. It is almost Friday, after all…the least I can do for ya’ll, right? This was actually first posted in January and I got such a kick out of it…well, let’s just say I hope you do, as well.
Here it goes…
No, I’m not a music critic, but I have noticed every time I sit down to write for the blog I lean towards music. Chalk it up as a mood and since I’m trying to create a following (sounds like a cult, doesn’t it?), I’m attempting to start things off fun and light. We’ll get serious later, but I want to make sure when I tick people off they’re not the only two who follow my well-written, humorous, and witty creations. Haha…are you hooked yet? If not, read on… I’m actually going to discuss a commercial today.
This commercial has stuck with me for quite some time. No, I’m not referring to Mayhem, although he does sneak into my mind every time I’m driving and look over my shoulder to change lanes…I hear a whispered “you’re good” and get chills. Actually, I’m referring to the very cute Volkswagen commercial where the Elton John song “Rocket Man” gets absolutely slaughtered.
It opens with the guy stocking shelves in a grocery store singing “I’m burning up this useless telephone” and it goes downhill from there. The shower guy is hilarious and looks a bit like Zack Galifianakis from the Hangover movies, but I have to admit my favorite is the barista with “burning up the room with cheap cologne”.
Side note: Elton, I know you’re reading this, so a little advice here…you may want to think about that line in your next song. Trust me on this one. You are still writing, right? Singing? Hey, are you still alive?
Back to the commercial – Then of course the gentleman who is smart enough to drive the Volkswagen is the only one who actually knew the correct lyric is “burning out his fuse up here alone”. To be perfectly honest, I thought that was BS too, but just researched the actual lyrics and there it is. “Burning out his fuse up here alone”. Wow.
Guess I won’t be allowed to buy a Volkswagen anytime soon.
A little SPAM to cheer up your Monday…
For those of you who do not own a WordPress Blog, one of the free perks provided when you sign up for a blog is Akismet.
Akismet is short for Automattic Kismet – Automattic being the company who created it and Kismet meaning fate or destiny, a predetermined course of events.
Akismet is the blocker of all comments to the blog which are actually spam and I love it. Every once in a while I’ll go take a look at all the comments that have been blocked by Akismet and make sure the blocked aren’t actually HAM. Another new term I’ve learned lately – HAM (well, not completely new – I love bacon. Only new as in the technological HAM). Ham are the comments that are accidentally blocked by Akismet, but in actuality are comments that should show up on the blog. Feelings can get hurt if ham isn’t caught (and slaughtered and turn into a BLT).
So, here I am on a Monday morning cleaning out my ham from the spam akismet blocked. It’s an interesting life.
And quite entertaining…check these out and see if you chuckle as much as I did.
(Photo Credit: Kulula Airlines)
In reference to “Delta, why can’t you be more like Kulula?”
SPAM: Hello there: thank you for getting some time of composing up this facts. I normally make an attempt to further more my idea of stuff. No matter whether I consent or disagree, I love advice. I take into account the old times once the only supply of important information was the library or the newspaper. They both feel so archaic. Please Pardon my rough english : )
RESPONSE: Kulula was a funny piece and I’m never one to discourage “an attempt to further more my idea of stuff”…I like stuff.
Skylar Laine (Photo Credit: Examiner.com)
In response to “Skylar is booted off Idol? What the ham America?”
SPAM: Hey very cool web site!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds also?I’m satisfied to seek out a lot of useful info right here in the submit, we want develop extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . .
RESPONSE: Wow, thank you…I like the sound of “very cool web site” and even the breathless “man…excellent…wonderful”….You must really love me, but then you lose me on “satisfied to seek out a lot of useful info right here in the submit” and “develop extra strategies on this regard”…this is a piece on American Idol, did you READ it??
SPAM: I do not even understand how I ended up here, however I believed this submit was once great. I don’t realize who you might be but certainly you are going to a famous blogger when you are not already. Cheers!
RESPONSE: WTH? Are you saying I’m not a famous blogger?
Levi Johnston (Photo Credit: NY Daily News)
In response to “Some people should not be allowed to breed”
SPAM: I want to voice my gratitude for your kindness for men who need guidance on this matter. Your personal dedication to getting the message all around has been incredibly helpful and have really encouraged associates just like me to attain their desired goals. Your entire warm and friendly useful information signifies a whole lot to me and far more to my office workers. Thank you; from each one of us.
RESPONSE: haha…aren’t you just the sweetest thing this morning…I’m brilliant, huh? Is that what you’re saying? I talked bad about Levi Johnston naming his child after a gun and you reward me with all those compliments? I’m such a lucky lady…
(Photo Credit: Madridlab.net)
In response to “Hmmm…just wondering aloud….”
SPAM: Hi! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I really enjoy reading your articles about brand generic viagra. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same topics? Thanks a lot!
RESPONSE: Holy crap! When did I write about Viagra!!??
Bobby Petrino (Photo Credit: wbrz.com)
In response to “Hey Bobby Petrino…the Secret Service is hiring!”
SPAM: Excellent post. I was checking continuously this weblog and I am inspired! Extremely useful information specifically the final part. I take care of such info much. I used to be seeking this certain info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.
RESPONSE: You’ve been “seeking this certain info for a very long time”?? Are you Bobby’s wife?
SPAM: Hello there, simply turned into aware of your blog thru Google, and found that it is really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of other folks will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
RESPONSE: Whew, someone needed to watch out for Brussels…
(Photo Credit: Squidoo.com)
In response to: “Autocorrect: Laughing through Thursday”
SPAM: Woh Everyone loves you , bookmarked ! My partner and i take issue in your last point.
RESPONSE: Everyone loves me? Awww, so sweet…but then you ruin it with how you and your partner take issue in the last point. There is not last point in an Autocorrect piece! But I’m sure you still love me…
(Photo Credit: Metafever.com)
In response to: “A Blogger’s Life…the good and the bad”
SPAM: Thank you sharing all these wonderful articles. In addition, the optimal travel plus medical insurance plan can often eradicate those issues that come with journeying abroad. A medical emergency can before long become expensive and that’s likely to quickly place a financial weight on the family’s finances. Putting in place the great travel insurance package deal prior to leaving is definitely worth the time and effort. Thanks a lot
RESPONSE: Are you….blogging….on my blog?? Get your own blog!
Autocorrect…need I say more?
So, there I was last night…trying diligently to attack my accounting homework (that means sailor vocabulary, pulling hair, throwing pencils…the usual happy environment during current, cash debt coverage, and inventory turnover ratios. I got my Associate’s Degree in Accounting, then changed my major. Doesn’t that give the school a tiny hint that I hate it? Did they mention the mandatory Accounting 561 course was in the MBA program? NO. Would I have changed my mind about higher education? Maybe.) …minding my own business…when I receive a text from my college daughter that said, “My opposum thanked me today for buying an App. Something you want to tell me woman?”
First of all, the apple doesn’t sound anything like the tree, right? Lol. She is my girl and it shows. I may need to apologize to her later for having that effect, but for now, I couldn’t be more proud of this kid. She is just one awesome…human.
Second of all, she was the first in the house to begin the iTunes account many years ago, therefore the email address on file is hers. We share her username and password so we can all share the same materials. No sense in buying the same song five times, right?
Third, if anyone goes into the account and changes the credit card on file to their own to purchase something and doesn’t change it back to mine…well, my next few purchases are on you and I certainly appreciate it! (Actually, it amounts to doing bank transfers to pay them back, so it’s really not as fun as it sounds.)
So, back to the text. I wrote her back, “Opossum???” She responds with, “OMG, Mom…I wrote Ipod and it autocorrected to Opossum!”
I fell apart.
That is one of the FUNNIEST autocorrects I’ve been personally involved with…and I couldn’t stop laughing. We’ve had a couple good ones, but nothing like this where she was thanked by an opposum. And all I kept thinking was don’t you have to have used that word in your texting experiences for it to autocorrect to that? Why in the world would she have the word Opossum in her history file and not Ipod?? Maybe I don’t wanna know!
It went on for hours. She talked about my visit in a few weeks, and I told her “yes, I am still coming down so move your opossum over and make room for me”…she’s twenty years old…we can talk like that now and it’s so much fun, however she did call me a bad name after that last text. Think I should ground her? Actually, I wish she’d ground me.
But the whole incident reminded me so much of the “Damn You Autocorrect” examples that have floated around emails and is posted all over the internet, so I thought I’d share my tear filled laughter with all of you and repost some here…. it is FRIDAY after all!
Here are some of the funnier ones (GRANDMA AND MOM, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO STOP! RATED- R MATERIAL AHEAD):
Thanks DamnYou AutoCorrect!!!!
