Installment #4: LIFE Series: How to get that CAREER you’ve been dreaming about
Please refer back to installment #1 for the legal mumble jumble (new technical term)
If you’re like me you weren’t born with a microphone, stethoscope, or spatula in your hand. I always envied those people who knew from early on what they were meant to do…but I recently realized that I’m actually the lucky one in that scenario.
Because of my lack of dedication to any one career, I’ve had the opportunity to experience many different fields. But, do I wish I could carry a tune, bake the perfect wedding cake, or be the star of a show? Sure…but apparently, it’s just not in my cards. And that’s ok. As I enter the fourth decade of my life (40 years old for those of you who have had a rough weekend), I’m finally figuring out want I want to do with the rest of my working days, and possibly as hobbies during my retired days, should I be so lucky.
Now, let’s talk about those of you who haven’t quite decided what you want to do. As I’ve told my older children…go to college, pick a major you think you might like, and go from there. Yes, I expect majors to change at least once, maybe twice or even three times, during college. I’d much rather they add a couple semesters than graduate on time with a piece of paper that doesn’t matter to them.
If you think college isn’t an option for you, think again. I’m still in college. Have been for the last five years and I never thought I would do it. There is not one single thing that is impossible if it is something you decide you want. Not one thing.
Want to go to school, but don’t think you can afford it? See if these can help you…
- Your local public library has tons of resources. Ask the librarian for help (they’re ALWAYS nice!)
- EducationGrant.com
- FastWeb.com
- Scholarships.com
- If you’re in high school, go to your counselor (make an appointment if necessary)
No one is going to hand you anything. GO GET IT!!
And as every other installment has promoted, analyze yourself. You have to find out what it is that interests you before you can pick a field. Some people pick solely based upon an expected salary. Bad move if you ask me. Money isn’t everything. Yes, it would be nice to have a wonderful salary, but unless you can partner that with some sort of personal fulfillment, you’ll just end up a well-paid miserable person. And what if you pick a profession in the medical field and find out in your third year of college you faint at the site of blood? It’s happened.
If you don’t know what really interests you…see if any of these will help you…
- Like CSI? Contact the local police department and ask to be a ride along or to take a tour of their evidence storage facilities, but don’t call 911 to do it! Look in the phonebook or on the internet for the “non-emergency” number. (They are NICE people, too!)
- Fire Department, maybe? Again, call a local station and ask for a scheduled visit or meeting. Bring all the questions you can think of…
- These types of visits can be done in so many career fields. Newspaper reporter? Jailer? Baker? Veterinarian? Photographer? Restaurant Manager? DON’T BE SHY! Make some calls and ask to “shadow” someone for a day. Maybe they need someone a couple hours a week as a volunteer. You can learn so much by being hands-on.
- CareerPath.com has “free career tests, personality assessments, and job advice. Search the internet for more quizzes and take them all. Your true interests will start to show in a pattern.
- Talk with family members, friends, teachers, and coaches. Anyone who knows you well. Ask them what they think you’d like or be good at…sometimes we get our best constructive criticism from those that love us. Trust them, but also follow your gut. Take the advice you get and merge it with your own thoughts. What was revealed?
- There are free courses in most communities that can also assist with the uncertainty of career choices. Call your local community colleges, public libraries, or chamber of commerce offices.
It’s possible that some things you think you like would be better as hobbies…not professions. My daughter and I have the “too many interests” disease. We don’t want to pick just one, we want to do everything. As my byline suggests though, I’m no expert at any of them, so I had to figure out what my professional strengths were, put that into my career and leave everything else for weekend hobbies. Each weekend may cover a different hobby, and that may drive my family crazy, but I’m a happier person if I can do what I love to do. (I can’t resist this, and I don’t know where this quote came from, but…when Momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy. Right?)
Now, for those of you who may already be in a career, possibly already a college graduate, and you just discovered a different field altogether? Maybe you’d like to make the leap, but are scared to death to risk the financial stability created? There’s hope for you…
Just like the Boy Scouts…be prepared. Do everything you can to prepare. Research the new career, volunteer if possible, interview anyone you know in the biz…may have to tap into “friends’ friends” for that one, but use all the resources possible to MAKE ABSOLUTE SURE this is what you want to do…then get even more prepared!
Build your financial nest. If you can’t just transition easily to this new career without impacting your livelihood, bank at least six months of financial security. A year would be even better.
Is this a business you’d like to open and operate yourself? Write a business plan while you’re building your financial nest. Yes, this may take a little while, but unless you’re a gamblin’ person who kinda likes the idea of living out of cardboard, take the time necessary to be successful.
If this is a small business idea, check out the Small Business Administration. If possible, don’t take a loan to start your business…a financial advisor would be more helpful on this, than me but it’s never a good idea to start out in debt. This SBA website has a link to loans and grants (and also has information on writing your business plan). Grants would be ideal, but you still will need money to live on (hence the financial nest).
If you have a family that considers you the bread winner, you may want to reintroduce them to bread…nothing wrong with a little peanut butter and jelly. The kids won’t go through withdrawal if they don’t visit McDonald’s every week. Just explain to them what is happening and how you need their help. Tell them what you are doing and how it will enhance the family unit. Then recruit their help however you can and make it fun. Trips to the grocery store can become a shopping competition…who finds the cheapest deal? Who has the most coupons? Reward with a week off dish duty. A family that bonds together…usually doesn’t kill each other. J
No matter what, no matter why…the point I want you to take from this installment is that you can do whatever it is you want if you just put forth a little time and effort. I’d advise against becoming the rodeo clown you may have dreamed about as a kid, but whatever floats your boat!
Just quit wasting time and START PLANNING NOW!
Feel free to email me at expertofnone@gmail.com if you need some help on this topic. I’ll do whatever I can to help/assist/advise…good luck to each and every one of you.
The LIFE Series has arrived!! Installment #2 – How to rid your life of NEGATIVITY…
Reference Installment #1 for the legal mumble jumble caveats …and please keep in mind, these installments are nothing more than my opinion. Right or wrong, it is what it is.
I enjoyed the first installment so much I decided I couldn’t wait a week to write the second installment. It would be nice someday to turn all this into a book, but I’m not really sure there is a hot demand for an average person’s opinion. I had always been told Dr. Benjamin Spock, the author of many child rearing advice books, wasn’t actually a father, but after performing extensive literary research (read Google), I have discovered Dr. Spock fathered two boys and was a renowned pediatrician. Darn it. Not sure why you have to be an expert to write about the things you know, believe, think, ponder…but we all know I am the Expert of None so my chances are slimmer than I’d like.
That brings me to the topic at hand. Negativity. The paragraph above could have been extremely negative. I could have said I am not an expert in anything so I’ll never be published. I could have said why bother? There’s no way in hell anyone will care about an average Jill’s opinion of things and so there really isn’t a point in even having this blog.
But I didn’t.
That’s not to say I’m always positive, it’s just that in the last couple of years I’ve noticed a pattern in negativity that I’m trying diligently to stay away from. I have my days and those that know me know I definitely succumb to negativity. It happens, we’re all human and like I said in the very beginning of Installment #1 I’m writing this life series as a reminder to myself as much as it is advice for you. Negativity will drain you. It sucks the life out of you. It will ruin your chances of success. It will corrupt the very core of all things good.
A bit dramatic, yes? But it is true. Look around and go back to the main advice from installment #1 …analyze. Actually listen to what people say and how they say it. Watch how you react to different situations and write it down. Yes, a journal, diary, homework…whatever you want to call it is fine. After a week or so, you’ll notice a pattern. It might be a great revelation that you are far superior to all of us negative people. Maybe you’re perkier and more optimistic than you realized? I would like to wish that for you, but chances are it won’t happen. Most of us don’t even realize what “Negative Nancy’s” we are until we analyze our behavioral patterns.
There are times where you can’t avoid being negative. I’m not telling you the secret to life is faking optimism or lying when asked your opinion. That’s definitely not the point I’m trying to make. The point is negativity is physically draining and will cause damage to all your potential good thoughts. It’s like a virus. Anything it touches becomes infested with bad. Period.
Have you gotten home from work or school and felt physically drained although you couldn’t figure out why? You didn’t do anything extra hard at work that day, and you slept very well the night before? I will venture to guess you have a person or persons around you who are constantly negative. I remember going through at time at my job where I was reaching the breaking point. I realized I had that “I hate my job” feeling but couldn’t figure it out. I don’t hate my job. I love my job and there are many people around me in this job that I really like working with. So why would I feel so drained and negative about something I love?
After a few weeks of this constant nagging negativity, I realized that I was overwhelming supporting negativity. I was an enabler. Yes, it was my fault. Not only had I allowed people to feel as if they could dish out the negative thoughts in my presence, I reciprocated. It became a negativity love fest. And I realized that in an attempt to communicate with family members, the gist of what I wanted to convey was negative. They didn’t get to hear any of the positives. I only had their attention for a few minutes and wanted to get across the important points quickly. In doing so, I relayed all the drama and none of the norm. My bad.
By the way, negativity comes in all forms. There is the obvious, like my reference above, and then there is the subtle. The subtle, in my mind, is far more damaging. It’s unsuspecting and causes a false comfort. This form may take a little longer for you to pinpoint and banish.
Here are examples:
Obvious:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
Subtle:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Subtle Negative Person: It IS beautiful, but I think I heard it may rain tonight.
See what I mean? That negativity was just slipped right in after a positive. It was all cushioned and comfy. This is how innocent people like you are slapped with negativity. Sucks, huh? (Negative on purpose!)
Now…here’s the KEY! Once you realize the source of whatever form is draining the energy right out from your perky life, slowly begin to alienate it. Now, I’ve recently been accused of alienating people around me at work. That’s not a good gung-ho team attitude to have, but I just sat there and nodded and said, “understood”. I do understand that I have alienated co-workers at times. I did this for my health. It will not do me well in my career if I continue to do this. I have to work smarter, not harder. Therefore, I’m in the process of not being so obvious in my alienations. Notice I didn’t say I was going to stop alienating people, I said I am working on not letting it show. My health and welfare are the most important things to me in the work environment, selfish? YES, but I’m at that point in life where my happiness is the key to the happiness of those around me.
When you figure out who the Negative Nancy is in your circle, you’ve got choices. Obviously if YOU are the Negative Nancy, you’ve got to change your way of thinking. Now instead of thinking “it’s gorgeous, but it is going to rain”, train yourself to correct yourself!!
Here’s how the mental conversation should go:
Wow, it’s so pretty out, shame it’s going to rain. Hmmm…that sounded an awful lot like that BRILLIANT “Expert of None” blogger was talking about. She said I need to change my way of thinking. Ok, take two. Wow, it’s so pretty out, I should go for a walk or wash my car while it lasts…good job, self! I do feel better. Thank you blogger, you have SAVED MY LIFE! (Haha…ok, got a little carried away…)
Back to the business at hand…there’s probably going to be a follow up homework assignment on this one. If you recognize a bunch of personal negative thoughts, go back to that journal and start recording them. I know, it is hard work to becoming the best possible you, but you’ll thank me. After a week or so, read the entire journal. You’ll see what I mean and then you’ll know exactly where to start training and correcting yourself.
If the Negative Nancy isn’t you, I’d say congrats for that personal accomplishment, but this is actually a worse situation. You’ll find out it is much easier to correct personal behaviors than it is someone close to you. As it should be. Here are your choices depending on how close you are with that person who drains your optimism:
- You can have a talk with them. I only recommend this if you are very close to that person AND they are typically receptive of constructive criticism. This is not very many people. It is tough hearing there may be something someone else finds “not exactly kosher” about your personality. So the best way to go about this discussion is to say it nicely and vague…like:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Well friend, that’s always a possibility, but let’s be more positive and go out and enjoy the beautiful weather while we can.
Or, depending on the closeness of your negative friend, you could:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Gee friend, that’s an awfully negative way of looking at things. I’ve noticed you seem to be down lately. Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?
This way you get your point across, but still highlight the fact that you’re a worried friend who wants to help.
- Slowly start to remove yourself from their line of fire. Meaning, if this person is not a very close friend, start gravitating towards the friends who don’t suck the life from you and in doing so, nature will take its course. If the friend comes back to you later and asks why you two aren’t hanging out as much anymore, be honest but kind…”well, I was working on being a healthier “me” and needed to be around inherently happy people. You were in a bad place in your life with (work, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever), and I didn’t feel I could help you. It was physically draining me to let you down like that”. Yeah, a little cheesy, but you get your point across and it puts the blame on you, not them.
- Whether this is a close friend or not, you can take the lead and change the overall theme of the discussions. Even in a large group you can twist the info to lead the group into a more positive discussion. The more you change the conversations from negative to positive, the more the members of the team will follow your lead. It’s changing by habit. A habit that you will be responsible for creating. Like…
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Well, hey, while we’re all still healthy and it’s beautiful out, let’s go fly kites!
Or:
You: I wouldn’t mind a cold right about now…at least it may give me a day off from work!
Or:
You: That’s fine with me! But hopefully, we all won’t be under the weather until that cold front comes in next week. Then it won’t really matter.
Again, like installment #1, I could go on and on about this. The point of this LIFE series is for you to become a better YOU. Trust me by saying this…if you remove the negativity surrounding you, it will make you feel better. Negativity is a life sucking factor that is avoidable and you deserve to be happy and healthy.
Don’t forget…I can be emailed directly at expertofnone@gmail.com or leave your comment or question here! Happy Bloggin’ ya’ll…
