Please refer back to installment #1 for the legal mumble jumble (new technical term)
If you’re like me you weren’t born with a microphone, stethoscope, or spatula in your hand. I always envied those people who knew from early on what they were meant to do…but I recently realized that I’m actually the lucky one in that scenario.
Because of my lack of dedication to any one career, I’ve had the opportunity to experience many different fields. But, do I wish I could carry a tune, bake the perfect wedding cake, or be the star of a show? Sure…but apparently, it’s just not in my cards. And that’s ok. As I enter the fourth decade of my life (40 years old for those of you who have had a rough weekend), I’m finally figuring out want I want to do with the rest of my working days, and possibly as hobbies during my retired days, should I be so lucky.
Now, let’s talk about those of you who haven’t quite decided what you want to do. As I’ve told my older children…go to college, pick a major you think you might like, and go from there. Yes, I expect majors to change at least once, maybe twice or even three times, during college. I’d much rather they add a couple semesters than graduate on time with a piece of paper that doesn’t matter to them.
If you think college isn’t an option for you, think again. I’m still in college. Have been for the last five years and I never thought I would do it. There is not one single thing that is impossible if it is something you decide you want. Not one thing.
Want to go to school, but don’t think you can afford it? See if these can help you…
- Your local public library has tons of resources. Ask the librarian for help (they’re ALWAYS nice!)
- If you’re in high school, go to your counselor (make an appointment if necessary)
No one is going to hand you anything. GO GET IT!!
And as every other installment has promoted, analyze yourself. You have to find out what it is that interests you before you can pick a field. Some people pick solely based upon an expected salary. Bad move if you ask me. Money isn’t everything. Yes, it would be nice to have a wonderful salary, but unless you can partner that with some sort of personal fulfillment, you’ll just end up a well-paid miserable person. And what if you pick a profession in the medical field and find out in your third year of college you faint at the site of blood? It’s happened.
If you don’t know what really interests you…see if any of these will help you…
- Like CSI? Contact the local police department and ask to be a ride along or to take a tour of their evidence storage facilities, but don’t call 911 to do it! Look in the phonebook or on the internet for the “non-emergency” number. (They are NICE people, too!)
- Fire Department, maybe? Again, call a local station and ask for a scheduled visit or meeting. Bring all the questions you can think of…
- These types of visits can be done in so many career fields. Newspaper reporter? Jailer? Baker? Veterinarian? Photographer? Restaurant Manager? DON’T BE SHY! Make some calls and ask to “shadow” someone for a day. Maybe they need someone a couple hours a week as a volunteer. You can learn so much by being hands-on.
- CareerPath.com has “free career tests, personality assessments, and job advice. Search the internet for more quizzes and take them all. Your true interests will start to show in a pattern.
- Talk with family members, friends, teachers, and coaches. Anyone who knows you well. Ask them what they think you’d like or be good at…sometimes we get our best constructive criticism from those that love us. Trust them, but also follow your gut. Take the advice you get and merge it with your own thoughts. What was revealed?
- There are free courses in most communities that can also assist with the uncertainty of career choices. Call your local community colleges, public libraries, or chamber of commerce offices.
It’s possible that some things you think you like would be better as hobbies…not professions. My daughter and I have the “too many interests” disease. We don’t want to pick just one, we want to do everything. As my byline suggests though, I’m no expert at any of them, so I had to figure out what my professional strengths were, put that into my career and leave everything else for weekend hobbies. Each weekend may cover a different hobby, and that may drive my family crazy, but I’m a happier person if I can do what I love to do. (I can’t resist this, and I don’t know where this quote came from, but…when Momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy. Right?)
Now, for those of you who may already be in a career, possibly already a college graduate, and you just discovered a different field altogether? Maybe you’d like to make the leap, but are scared to death to risk the financial stability created? There’s hope for you…
Just like the Boy Scouts…be prepared. Do everything you can to prepare. Research the new career, volunteer if possible, interview anyone you know in the biz…may have to tap into “friends’ friends” for that one, but use all the resources possible to MAKE ABSOLUTE SURE this is what you want to do…then get even more prepared!
Build your financial nest. If you can’t just transition easily to this new career without impacting your livelihood, bank at least six months of financial security. A year would be even better.
Is this a business you’d like to open and operate yourself? Write a business plan while you’re building your financial nest. Yes, this may take a little while, but unless you’re a gamblin’ person who kinda likes the idea of living out of cardboard, take the time necessary to be successful.
If this is a small business idea, check out the Small Business Administration. If possible, don’t take a loan to start your business…a financial advisor would be more helpful on this, than me but it’s never a good idea to start out in debt. This SBA website has a link to loans and grants (and also has information on writing your business plan). Grants would be ideal, but you still will need money to live on (hence the financial nest).
If you have a family that considers you the bread winner, you may want to reintroduce them to bread…nothing wrong with a little peanut butter and jelly. The kids won’t go through withdrawal if they don’t visit McDonald’s every week. Just explain to them what is happening and how you need their help. Tell them what you are doing and how it will enhance the family unit. Then recruit their help however you can and make it fun. Trips to the grocery store can become a shopping competition…who finds the cheapest deal? Who has the most coupons? Reward with a week off dish duty. A family that bonds together…usually doesn’t kill each other. J
No matter what, no matter why…the point I want you to take from this installment is that you can do whatever it is you want if you just put forth a little time and effort. I’d advise against becoming the rodeo clown you may have dreamed about as a kid, but whatever floats your boat!
Just quit wasting time and START PLANNING NOW!
Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you need some help on this topic. I’ll do whatever I can to help/assist/advise…good luck to each and every one of you.
The LIFE Series!! Installment #3 – How to sift through the FRIENDS that are true…from the ones who are not!
You would think by reading the title of this installment that it’s strictly for teenagers. Not true at all. We are human (at least most of us), and a fundamental need of humans is interaction. As you can see through all the available social networks, humans can even cross the line a bit into over-communication. I’ve mentioned before that I’m pretty confident that the increase in divorce can be matched with the increase of available socializing, but the point of this installment is not to encourage the quantity, but question the quality.
There are so many famous quotes concerning friendships, let’s look at a few for a pattern:
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. – Fr. Jerome Cummings
Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. –Elbert Hubbard
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success. – Doug Larson
See it yet? A true friend is someone who loves you for you. PERIOD. No matter what “you” entails…it is not something that a true friend will consider equivalent to “wrong”. Yes, these are overused expressions, or clichés, but they came about for a reason. Too often we dismiss clichés as redundant nonsense instead of thinking it through and finding its meaning. The nugget, so to speak, is there and you just have to dust it off to be able to recognize the true value.
Here is some of my very own advice that should probably be on a bumper sticker somewhere (hopefully it’s not already). “By clicking “accept” on Facebook does not a friend create”. It merely means you are acquaintances who would like to be kept abreast on each other’s latest endeavors. Another words…we’re all inherently nosey. And if you have more than a few acquaintances on Facebook, you’ll then realize we are either all liars or so freakin’ happy we have nothing at all to complain about. (Unless you are that one in a few who feels the need to be consistently negative…if so, please see Installment #2 of this LIFE Series.)
Without all those friends and acquaintances in our lives, we become lonely (anyone else picture the old lady with forty cats?). There is nothing good about being lonely. Being a “loner” is different and even most loners have a few friends, but truly being lonely is an unhappy state of mind. The University of Chicago has completed a survey about loneliness. The results said people over the age of 50 had higher blood pressure and loneliness was a significant factor. So it is true, loneliness can kill you. We’ve all suspected that, I think.
In order to avoid loneliness and unnecessary drama, the quality of the friendship should become the focal point. The trick to concentrating on quality instead of quantity is to stop keeping count. Life is not a popularity contest, although I know it seems that way at times. Teenagers probably do feel the brunt of this (unless you are a politician and I’m pretty sure no politician would admit to reading this blog) with all the high school and college drama that goes hand in hand with being the most known and well liked member of the student body. After those four or eight (or sometimes twelve, but who’s counting?) years of your life are over you’ll realize the important parts were not the number of parties you attended, but the number of lives you affected. Ok, that and the piece of paper at the end may be sort of equivalent.
As you look to see who around you can be considered “true” friends, ask yourself these questions:
- Who supports me no matter how stupid my idea may be?
- Who lets me vent when I’m about to explode?
- Who tells me the truth even when I’m the one who is wrong?
- Who would be there for me no matter what time I called?
- Who listens instead of just talks?
Finding the true friends in your circle is much easier than you probably believe. We all have people in our lives who thrive on drama, “friends” who can only talk about themselves, and people who refer to themselves as your friend while planning your demise behind your back. Those, obviously, aren’t true friends. The true friends are the ones we should highlight in our lives. This will make us all happier and healthier people.
Once you start to notice who may be pulling you down the drama drain, try and limit your time with them. You don’t have to stop all communications, acquaintances are good to have, but the more you allow yourself the time to work on the friendships that do matter, the happier you will be. Stop enabling the unnecessary. Learn how to say no…and don’t feel guilty when you can’t participate in their drama because you’d rather do nothing with your best friend. That’s what best friends are for!
This life is the one you’ve been given. What you do with it is completely up to you, but wouldn’t you rather filter out the unnecessary and focus in on the quality aspects that will make you happier and healthier? Life can be absolutely awesome or it can be mind numbingly monotonous. You choose.
Thanks for keeping up with the LIFE Series. Happy Bloggin’ ya’ll.
Reference Installment #1 for the legal mumble jumble caveats …and please keep in mind, these installments are nothing more than my opinion. Right or wrong, it is what it is.
I enjoyed the first installment so much I decided I couldn’t wait a week to write the second installment. It would be nice someday to turn all this into a book, but I’m not really sure there is a hot demand for an average person’s opinion. I had always been told Dr. Benjamin Spock, the author of many child rearing advice books, wasn’t actually a father, but after performing extensive literary research (read Google), I have discovered Dr. Spock fathered two boys and was a renowned pediatrician. Darn it. Not sure why you have to be an expert to write about the things you know, believe, think, ponder…but we all know I am the Expert of None so my chances are slimmer than I’d like.
That brings me to the topic at hand. Negativity. The paragraph above could have been extremely negative. I could have said I am not an expert in anything so I’ll never be published. I could have said why bother? There’s no way in hell anyone will care about an average Jill’s opinion of things and so there really isn’t a point in even having this blog.
But I didn’t.
That’s not to say I’m always positive, it’s just that in the last couple of years I’ve noticed a pattern in negativity that I’m trying diligently to stay away from. I have my days and those that know me know I definitely succumb to negativity. It happens, we’re all human and like I said in the very beginning of Installment #1 I’m writing this life series as a reminder to myself as much as it is advice for you. Negativity will drain you. It sucks the life out of you. It will ruin your chances of success. It will corrupt the very core of all things good.
A bit dramatic, yes? But it is true. Look around and go back to the main advice from installment #1 …analyze. Actually listen to what people say and how they say it. Watch how you react to different situations and write it down. Yes, a journal, diary, homework…whatever you want to call it is fine. After a week or so, you’ll notice a pattern. It might be a great revelation that you are far superior to all of us negative people. Maybe you’re perkier and more optimistic than you realized? I would like to wish that for you, but chances are it won’t happen. Most of us don’t even realize what “Negative Nancy’s” we are until we analyze our behavioral patterns.
There are times where you can’t avoid being negative. I’m not telling you the secret to life is faking optimism or lying when asked your opinion. That’s definitely not the point I’m trying to make. The point is negativity is physically draining and will cause damage to all your potential good thoughts. It’s like a virus. Anything it touches becomes infested with bad. Period.
Have you gotten home from work or school and felt physically drained although you couldn’t figure out why? You didn’t do anything extra hard at work that day, and you slept very well the night before? I will venture to guess you have a person or persons around you who are constantly negative. I remember going through at time at my job where I was reaching the breaking point. I realized I had that “I hate my job” feeling but couldn’t figure it out. I don’t hate my job. I love my job and there are many people around me in this job that I really like working with. So why would I feel so drained and negative about something I love?
After a few weeks of this constant nagging negativity, I realized that I was overwhelming supporting negativity. I was an enabler. Yes, it was my fault. Not only had I allowed people to feel as if they could dish out the negative thoughts in my presence, I reciprocated. It became a negativity love fest. And I realized that in an attempt to communicate with family members, the gist of what I wanted to convey was negative. They didn’t get to hear any of the positives. I only had their attention for a few minutes and wanted to get across the important points quickly. In doing so, I relayed all the drama and none of the norm. My bad.
By the way, negativity comes in all forms. There is the obvious, like my reference above, and then there is the subtle. The subtle, in my mind, is far more damaging. It’s unsuspecting and causes a false comfort. This form may take a little longer for you to pinpoint and banish.
Here are examples:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Subtle Negative Person: It IS beautiful, but I think I heard it may rain tonight.
See what I mean? That negativity was just slipped right in after a positive. It was all cushioned and comfy. This is how innocent people like you are slapped with negativity. Sucks, huh? (Negative on purpose!)
Now…here’s the KEY! Once you realize the source of whatever form is draining the energy right out from your perky life, slowly begin to alienate it. Now, I’ve recently been accused of alienating people around me at work. That’s not a good gung-ho team attitude to have, but I just sat there and nodded and said, “understood”. I do understand that I have alienated co-workers at times. I did this for my health. It will not do me well in my career if I continue to do this. I have to work smarter, not harder. Therefore, I’m in the process of not being so obvious in my alienations. Notice I didn’t say I was going to stop alienating people, I said I am working on not letting it show. My health and welfare are the most important things to me in the work environment, selfish? YES, but I’m at that point in life where my happiness is the key to the happiness of those around me.
When you figure out who the Negative Nancy is in your circle, you’ve got choices. Obviously if YOU are the Negative Nancy, you’ve got to change your way of thinking. Now instead of thinking “it’s gorgeous, but it is going to rain”, train yourself to correct yourself!!
Here’s how the mental conversation should go:
Wow, it’s so pretty out, shame it’s going to rain. Hmmm…that sounded an awful lot like that BRILLIANT “Expert of None” blogger was talking about. She said I need to change my way of thinking. Ok, take two. Wow, it’s so pretty out, I should go for a walk or wash my car while it lasts…good job, self! I do feel better. Thank you blogger, you have SAVED MY LIFE! (Haha…ok, got a little carried away…)
Back to the business at hand…there’s probably going to be a follow up homework assignment on this one. If you recognize a bunch of personal negative thoughts, go back to that journal and start recording them. I know, it is hard work to becoming the best possible you, but you’ll thank me. After a week or so, read the entire journal. You’ll see what I mean and then you’ll know exactly where to start training and correcting yourself.
If the Negative Nancy isn’t you, I’d say congrats for that personal accomplishment, but this is actually a worse situation. You’ll find out it is much easier to correct personal behaviors than it is someone close to you. As it should be. Here are your choices depending on how close you are with that person who drains your optimism:
- You can have a talk with them. I only recommend this if you are very close to that person AND they are typically receptive of constructive criticism. This is not very many people. It is tough hearing there may be something someone else finds “not exactly kosher” about your personality. So the best way to go about this discussion is to say it nicely and vague…like:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Well friend, that’s always a possibility, but let’s be more positive and go out and enjoy the beautiful weather while we can.
Or, depending on the closeness of your negative friend, you could:
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
Obvious Negative Person: I know, it sucks because all these weather changes are going to get us all sick!
You: Gee friend, that’s an awfully negative way of looking at things. I’ve noticed you seem to be down lately. Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?
This way you get your point across, but still highlight the fact that you’re a worried friend who wants to help.
- Slowly start to remove yourself from their line of fire. Meaning, if this person is not a very close friend, start gravitating towards the friends who don’t suck the life from you and in doing so, nature will take its course. If the friend comes back to you later and asks why you two aren’t hanging out as much anymore, be honest but kind…”well, I was working on being a healthier “me” and needed to be around inherently happy people. You were in a bad place in your life with (work, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever), and I didn’t feel I could help you. It was physically draining me to let you down like that”. Yeah, a little cheesy, but you get your point across and it puts the blame on you, not them.
- Whether this is a close friend or not, you can take the lead and change the overall theme of the discussions. Even in a large group you can twist the info to lead the group into a more positive discussion. The more you change the conversations from negative to positive, the more the members of the team will follow your lead. It’s changing by habit. A habit that you will be responsible for creating. Like…
You: Wow, what a gorgeous day!
You: Well, hey, while we’re all still healthy and it’s beautiful out, let’s go fly kites!
You: I wouldn’t mind a cold right about now…at least it may give me a day off from work!
You: That’s fine with me! But hopefully, we all won’t be under the weather until that cold front comes in next week. Then it won’t really matter.
Again, like installment #1, I could go on and on about this. The point of this LIFE series is for you to become a better YOU. Trust me by saying this…if you remove the negativity surrounding you, it will make you feel better. Negativity is a life sucking factor that is avoidable and you deserve to be happy and healthy.
Don’t forget…I can be emailed directly at email@example.com or leave your comment or question here! Happy Bloggin’ ya’ll…
Get ready ya’ll and pull up a chair…this is a DOOZY!!
Ok, so I promised this series a month or so ago and thanks to a rained out baseball game tonight, I finally feel like I can give the proper time and attention to write this first installment. As you recall, the start of this series is on “How to find out who YOU are”.
Here’s the caveat – legal mumble jumble part – sorry!
Let me begin by saying that in no way, shape, or form am I anything except an ‘average Jill’. I have no degree in psychiatry, sociology, or social services. The degrees I have are in business and I’m a recent graduate at 40 years old. So, no…before you ask. I am not educationally qualified to give advice or determine what is right or wrong in your life. What I am is a very observant and logical woman (armed with a blog!). I may not have the best “book sense” in the world, or even close, but the internal and natural talent I’ve been given is reading people and situations in order to find the best path and how to turn the situation around. I don’t always rely on my talent, especially in an environment where there are others who openly analyze and share opinions. Most of the time I disagree with them anyway, so no point in trying to figure out who is right. Instead, I choose to use my talent here, in this blog, amongst friends. Because after all, this is a place where opinions count.
Also, I’d like to remind you to have an open mind and hear me out. I aim to help you. What I say, guess, speculate, or contemplate will be wrong for some people, but if you come into this thinking that is automatically you, you may as well move on. What I do promise you is to try and give the best ideas and advice I can as an average woman who has made so very many mistakes that it is only in my gratification of a great life that I hope to help you avoid them. No pressure.
And by God, spread the word because I honestly believe America has lost focus on the average Joe’s and Jill’s. People do need to hear our perspective. Politicians claim to be leaders for the public opinion, but more times than not they are playing the money game and touting the few lines that they believe will sway that particular portion of the vote. And unfortunately, it tends to work. I’m one American who is fed up with the game and wish I could elect someone in my neighborhood or from the office that has the average citizen logic we need in a President and representing us in Congress. And by the way, I have no beef with our current President. While he’s in office, he’s our Commander-in-Chief and as an Army brat, I was taught to respect the person who holds that position. He has my support and my respect, just as every President before him has during my lifetime. But as a voter I will determine in November if I’m going to vote for him or his opponent. As I’ve said before on other topics…that’s for another day and another blog!
Future installments will not hold the caveats listed above, but as a reminder I will probably reference this post. Now…let’s get to it.
The LIFE Series…Finding a better YOU! Installment #1 – How to find out who YOU are…
Here are the topics we are going to cover in this series. I will attempt one a week, but no pinky swears on this one. I find my brain functions better in the early morning hours, but unfortunately, I don’t have many of those available to bond with the blank sheet of paper. So, like everything else in my life, I will do the best I can.
- How to find out who YOU are
- How to rid your life of NEGATIVITY
- How to sift through the FRIENDS that are true…from the ones who are not
- How to get that CAREER you’ve been dreaming about
- How to get that EDUCATION you always wanted
- How to have and enjoy your FAMILY
- How to figure out LIFE (teenagers, too many decisions, too little time?)
- How to re-make your HOME into your favorite place to be
- How to work on your FINANCIAL situation
- How to get a better YOU
Installment #1 … “How to find out who YOU are”…
Well, I’ll be honest. I came up with this very first topic because of teenagers today. I probably need both hands and at least one foot to count the number of teenagers I’ve heard in the last few years stress about “trying to find themselves”. I’ve got two words for you teenagers – STOP IT! (And yes, I said that in my most authoritative Mommy voice.) It is nonsense and quite frankly, I view it as a cop out.
I’ve heard this line being used to break up with people, skip college, avoid work, and last but not least, avoid family. Listen…I don’t know any other way to say this but, I am STILL trying to find out the extent of who I am. I promise you that you will not wake up one morning and go “Oh…well, hey…looky there…I’m a Jewish Rabbi”…some of you may, and that’s more than okay, but my point is the real you will not jump out of a closet and attack you. The real you will constantly evolve throughout the course of your entire lifetime. I promise.
Finding yourself is a very challenging task. Some people may come into the world with a predefined sense of self. Good for them (seriously). I’ve known people who knew they wanted to become doctors at the age of five, or lawyers when they were twelve. That’s awesome, but that’s what they do, not who they are. They will continue to develop their personality and traits throughout their lifetimes, as well, they just happened to have figured out one portion very early on. Not me. I still am not sure what I want to be and am hoping for fifty or more years on earth. That is a lot of time to decide, so I’m really not in a rush. I also believe the way of the world is different now. It’s not like it was for my parents and grandparents. Back when my grandparents were fresh out of school that was it. You were supposed to go get a career in your field of study and keep that employment until retirement. Nowadays, it is virtually impossible to stay with one company a lifetime. I am currently in a career that I really love…will I stay in that one? Maybe. Maybe not. Why do I have to decide that now? The answer is I don’t and neither do you.
The key to “finding” yourself is to analyze yourself. Put away the phones, iPods, iPads, and get away from the televisions. Go for a walk, a hike, sit in your room, or your backyard. Go wherever you can to get peace and quiet and make sure you get a good amount of quality time all by yourself. A half an hour would be great, fifteen minutes will do. Take as many days as you can.
Then ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I want?
- What do I like?
- What’s standing in my way?
- How can I overcome?
These questions are more difficult to answer than it will seem. Defining what it is you want out of life can be answered in many different ways. So many ways that you should start with smaller goals and then end it with the most important:
- What do I want career wise?
- What do I want family wise?
- What will make me the happiest?
- What do I want out of life?
The one bad thing about technology is that people no longer have time to just think. I’m not sure teenagers know how to be alone with their thoughts, but it has to happen. If you go on following whatever path is laid in front of you, it is absolutely WRONG and chances are you’ll end up in a career, family, and life situation that you’ll find out much too late is not what YOU want.
But you have to know what the “it” is before you can determine, and therefore create, the path you want to take. And listen to me carefully on this point…YOU CAN BE WRONG. That’s right. Everyone is wrong in some respect every single day of their lives. Whether it is a big wrong or a little one is what makes the difference between those living and those loving life.
And we don’t start out trying to be wrong. We discover it as we go and therefore, continue to tweak until death do us part. When you analyze your wants, needs, and thoughts and get the best answers to the questions above, that is what they are…the best possible answers at that time in your life. Can they change? ABSOLUTELY! And probably should. Here’s the thing…and I tell my college kids this all the time…quit pressuring yourself to think you have to decide it all right freakin’ now! Yes, there are pressures from parents (because they love you), teachers (because they guide you), and peers (because they don’t want to fail you) to decide about school, boyfriends/girlfriends, best friends, sports, academics, colleges, majors, careers, scholarships. There’s no question in my mind that every generation has it a little harder than the generation before, but this time in your life doesn’t have to define you. You will define everything yourself…just give it a lot of thought and time.
And when you figure it out, go give it a try. If it doesn’t pan out, that’s okay. Look at it like it’s just one more thing to strike off the list. You thought you wanted to be a doctor and found out you can’t stand the sight of blood? Oh well, turn the interest into something bigger…you thought you wanted to be a labor and delivery doctor, turns out you really wanted to open your very own daycare? Dug a little deeper and found out your love is for children, not newborns? Use it. Use everything you learn and add it all up. You’ll figure out what it is you want. I promise.
I can talk about this all day long. Once I had to give a three minute motivation speech to fellow students in a week long class. Nine minutes later I was apologizing for cutting off the question and answer session, but was pretty sure I had failed the assignment and had to go. I didn’t actually fail, but I didn’t really care if I had. My fellow classmates and I had a ball during that nine minutes and three people told me afterwards something I had said triggered an interest they’d been contemplating for YEARS and there were now going to give it a shot. From a nine minute speech?? You just never know how you can affect people. My point here is to listen to those around you. Someone may say something or introduce you to someone who can alter your path in a way that makes you happiest. People usually choose a career they are predisposed to…laborers create laborers, teachers create teachers, etc. Not always, but it is probably more common than you think. It’s called a comfort zone. Find yours!
Now, the hardest part of this post is for the adults trying to find their way in life. The best advice I can give you is the same I give the teenagers. Be alone with your thoughts. What is it you want? Define what will make you believe to be happiness and then figure out why you don’t have that. Believe me…that’s the hardest part for you all. Do not think about what would make everyone around you happy, this is about you. I remember being in a job interview, I believe I was barely 20 years old and the twins were somewhere around six months old. And I was given “that” question…where do you want to be in five years? I really do hate that question. All I could think at the time was that I wanted to feed my two tiny babies. Who can worry about five years from now when I don’t know how I’ll make it through the next five days??
But without knowing where I wanted to be in five years, I was letting conditions and problems set my path. Yes, sometimes we do have to take what we can to make it, but in the meantime we should be planning the next phase of our lives. You don’t have to know exactly the career you want…if you don’t know yet, try finding the jobs that will be in areas that you think you might be interested in. You may think you are locked into a set path or career for the money or whatever the reasons, but you’re not. Try to see and think past the hardships. If you can afford to, volunteer a couple hours a week in an area you think you may enjoy. Love books? Try the local library. Love animals? The local vet clinic may be a great place for a volunteer. If you can’t afford to volunteer a few hours, try searching the internet (again library?) for information or free classes. Everything is possible once you realize your passion for it.
We can talk more about this topic someday if you all would like…we can even have a Q&A session if you want, but in the meantime feel free to comment, leave a question, or let us all know how you were successful in finding yourself or helping someone else succeed! I’d love to read about it!
In the meantime, I’ll get started on the next installment “How to rid your life of NEGATIVITY”, and happy bloggin’ to you all.