I absolutely love some of the status postings in facebook.  There are times when it is as if the author truly feels Shakespeare is speaking through them…uhmm…we shall let thou thinkest that.  And maybe you’ve got some witty comeback but the author is your Mom’s 98 year old Aunt and you’re afraid to hurt her feelings?  Well, now we get to answer all those her and Aunty Peggy will never know… Check this out, my responses are italicized…feel free to provide your favorite facebook post or respond to these….

   When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 

It took me so long trying to figure out what you were saying, I forgot what it was I wanted.

   Be the one who everyone wants, not the one who everyone’s had. 

The one everyone’s had is too busy to be reading facebook.

   People tellin me I changed, that’s exactly what I’m gettin so I’ll never be the same. 

Well, uhm…good for you!?

   Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. 

Whatever.  Failure is failure….why do we try and sugar coat crap? You don’t “dare” to fail…go ahead, I dare you…no, that doesn’t work.  It happens.  And the only ones who fail great can ever achieve greatly?  Wrong.  There are some idiots who just get lucky! 

   Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently. 

And there are some idiots who just get lucky!

   People wait until they have enough time to do what they dream. It is 99% sure it will still be a dream at the end of the life.

So, I should quit my job, pack up the fam, and hit the road hoping to join the circus?  Dreams are called dreams for a reason, otherwise they’d be called reality.  (Oh my…I think that last sentence should be the next popular facebook status!)

   The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.  T

hat’s actually not a nickname, it’s slander.

   Chocolate makes everything better. Except obesity 

Nope…I’m pretty sure even chocolate makes that better.

   Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips. 

Is that a line?  I just got an image of Joey Tribbiani from Friends, “hey…how YOU doin? Smile…” ewwww, gross.

   I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wifi internet. 

Wi-fi is in the air…how can you technically steal air?

   Press the star below and watch it glow..

The next thing you’ll say is pull my finger and I’m not doing that either.

   You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take. 

Wow…that’s deep. Slow down!

   Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when. 

Now’s good.

   Best friends listen to what you don’t say..

I thought that was dogs?

   Dance like no one’s going to put it on youtube. 

That won’t get me my fifteen minutes like everyone else?!

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. 

I don’t believe that is the only resemblance of toilet paper and life…

   Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control. 

And the best ones are HOT!

   In 2013 I’m going to sit back, watch the movie 2012 and laugh.. 

There’s a movie called 2012?? 

   Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.  

 If you don’t use it, it must not be good.  

FACEBOOK WORK QUOTES…

   

  An employee’s motivation is a direct result of the sum of interactions with his or her manager. 

Yeah, because the employee can’t think or feel anything on their own. 

   Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you. 

That’s just hilarious.   

   The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week. 

I miss my job days…

   When boss is away, work becomes a holyday. 

Holyday?  I’d rather call it a holiday, but maybe I’m missing something here.  I pray more when the boss is in…

   The only time some people work like a horse is when the boss rides them. 

Yeah, since we don’t have any motivation without being whipped.

   People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives.

So, let me get this straight…the leader leads, and the boss bosses?  I like that better than drives…I’m not a car.

   A good manager is a man who is not worried abt his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him. 

I bet a manager wrote that one!  There’s not a boss in the world this saintly, come on…if he wasn’t worried about his career he wouldn’t have made it to manager…right? 

   The way to find the real boss is to find out who hires the lawyers. 

Nope, the real boss is the one who hires the janitors.  You’ll find that out the day you tell those lawyers to take out their own trash or clean the bathrooms.

   Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. 

Out of that 7, only one or two aren’t lame…which makes YOU a very lame person.

   The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. 

That’s what he tells you so he doesn’t have to do any “real” work…boy, oh boy, you bought it!!??

   Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. 

If you’re at a level where you are playing golf with the boss, you shouldn’t have to fake it…he should know by then you both suck at it!

   In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker 

One smart boss…

   If you think your boss is stupid, remember You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter…

Unless he wasn’t the one who hired you…

   The speed of the boss is the speed of the team…

hope he’s feeling sloooow today!

Happy Bloggin’ peeps….